Hilary Duff Says Ashley Tisdale’s Essay Left Her ‘Taken Aback’ and Feeling ‘Used’
Hilary Duff has addressed the public reaction to Ashley Tisdale’s essay about feeling excluded from a celebrity mom group, saying she was surprised and saddened by the way the situation unfolded.
Appearing on the podcast Call Her Daddy, Duff responded to Tisdale’s January essay published in The Cut, titled “Breaking Up With My Toxic Mom Group.” In the piece, Tisdale reflected on forming friendships with other high-profile mothers and later feeling iced out of the group dynamic. Although no names were mentioned, online speculation quickly connected Duff and several other celebrities to the group described.
Duff said she did not anticipate the essay and felt unsettled by its publication. “I felt really sad,” she said. “I was pretty taken aback.”
Duff, who has four children, one from a previous marriage and three with her husband, songwriter Matthew Koma, explained that her friendships span different chapters of her life. She described having a longstanding core group of close friends, in addition to multiple circles of parent friends connected to her children.
“I have my ride-or-dies of 10 to 20 years,” Duff said, adding that she also has “tons of different groups of mom friends.” Reading the essay, she said, was difficult because she believed parts of the narrative did not reflect her experience. “It sucks to read something that’s not true,” she said, noting that the piece affected multiple women whose lives were being discussed indirectly.
Tisdale’s essay detailed her decision to distance herself from the group, describing social interactions that felt uncomfortable and reminiscent of adolescent cliques. She wrote that she ultimately texted the group to step away, characterizing the dynamic as “too high school.”
Duff said she did not want to publicly engage in the back-and-forth surrounding the story. She also noted that the timing coincided with a significant professional milestone: the release of her sixth studio album, Luck… or Something, her first album in more than a decade. “The timing felt not great,” Duff said. “And I felt used.”
Shortly after the essay generated headlines, Koma posted a satirical Instagram message that appeared to reference the situation. Duff said she was not aware he planned to comment, but emphasized that she does not police his social media activity.
The episode briefly intersected with Duff’s return to music, which she has described as both exciting and vulnerable. In recent interviews, she has spoken about the apprehension that comes with releasing new work after stepping away from the spotlight to focus on family life.
While she did not elaborate on the current state of her relationship with Tisdale, Duff’s comments suggest she views the situation as unfortunate but not something she intends to escalate publicly. Her focus, she indicated, remains on her family, her longstanding friendships, and her renewed creative work.
